Movie: Bridget Jones’ Baby (2016)

This evening I decided to watch Bridget Jones’ Baby at the nearest cinema by myself, because I’m just a loser like that.

Bridget Jones’ Baby basically tells the story of a now 43-year-old Bridget who is still single, as always. There’s still a scene of her blowing up birthday candles by herself on the beginning of the movie. Basically the premise of the movie is this: Bridget has sex with two men in a short period of time and gets pregnant. Of course she doesn’t know who the father is.. Is it the hot stranger she meets at a music festival, or her ex-lover Mark Darcy? Who will she marry eventually?

Mind you, I have watched the first movie of Bridget Jones’ series, and I do like it with all of the cheesiness and cliche situations. The same thing with Bridget Jones’ Baby, I guess. You see, the movie is just one big ball of cliche. I can easily bet what these people are going to say, scenes after scenes. Of course Bridget ends up sleeping with a random hot stranger at the music festival. Of course the hot stranger turns out to be a millionaire algorithm dating site inventor named Jack Qwant. Of course there’s a rivalry between Mark Darcy and Jack Qwant. Of course there’s a random Indian man whose name is always spelt erroneously by white people . Of course Bridget has difficulties spelling the Indian name. Of course Bridget gets an emotional break-down in the middle of a fake rain. Of course Mark Darcy appears out of nowhere when she has the emotional break-down. Of course Bridget uses an iPad instead of a diary, to write her day-to-day journal (it’s 2016 after all!). Of course Jack Qwant isn’t the real father, but he is fine with it anyway. And of course……. Bridget eventually marries Mark Darcy and lives happily, ever after. I have written the word “of course” for approximately 2012930 times by now.

There’s a particular scene where Bridget and all of her friends dance to the song Oppa Gangnam Style. They dance their asses off, with the hand movements and all. Seeing those white people dancing to Oppa Gangnam Style… Good God, that scene is a total mess. Also, I just lost it when Bridget says, “Maybe the decade-year-old vegan condom makes me pregnant”. Seriously? White people be labelling everything with vegan, even a condom! Amazing. Overall, the movie is entertaining. It’s not revolutionary or anything — it’s just your usual light chick flick. Some parts are funny, some are just “meh”. Right now I’m thinking about what movies that make me laugh so hard, but I just can’t remember….The last time I laughed so hard was when I saw SNL’s spoof on the 1st presidential debate (with Alec Baldwin and Kate McKinnon) and Kevin Hart’s video on his first time cursing. What I can conclude from Bridget Jones’ Baby is the fact that white people do crack.. and boy, they crack hard! Colin Firth can still get it, though.

In the cinema, there were a lot of other kids my age. Every time Bridget or one of the casts curses (like “fuck”, “shit”, or whatever), these teens went “Wooo HAHA Funny stuff”. It’s not that funny, really. After the movie ended, I heard some of them said, “Wow the dirty jokes, though! Crazy, man! Wow this movie is so dirty, I love it” — they seemed so proud of their dirty jokes comprehension, as if they had just won the Noble Prize.

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