Back when I was in high school, I got a lesson called English Extensive. Basically it was an ordinary English lesson, but the teacher taught additional materials (hence the word extensive), such as writing essays/journals. I remember feeling reluctant every time I had to do another journal, although I did enjoy the process of writing it. Today I stumbled upon my old English Extensive journals, and it’s ironic to see how at the age of 17, I was very hopeless at understanding school lessons-
“I attempted to go through the practicum cheerfully, convincing myself that I would certainly gain something when the practicum sessions ended. Nonetheless, the feeling of confusion came to me again and again like tsunami”
-and now almost 20 years old, I’m still trapped with the same confusion. At least when I was 17, I still had a scrap of hope saying, “After all of this, I can finally study the things I am passionate in” —- 17 and naive..
EE Journal 0n Science Practicums
Honestly, I have always hated the idea of having to stay in school until late at night to do science practicums. Out of those three lessons (Biology, Physics, and Chemistry), I despised Physics the most. During that particular practicum, I did not understand a thing about how the things worked and could not even distinguish one tool from the other. Therefore, I was constantly asked to do the data calculation because apparently, I was the best at using calculator (my job was the easiest). The head of my group (who-shall-not-be-named), asked me not to ever touch the tools during practicum as she believed that I would certainly ruin everything. I kept thinking–“God, then how am I supposed to do during examinations?”
I did not comprehend the purpose of doing those Physics experiments, and the lousy teacher did not help explaining some obscure terms either. He continuously spoke in an absolutely drowsy manner, but became ridiculously outraged when we did not leave the class on time. This teacher even gave us delinquency points when we failed to directly exit the class. Almost the same thing happened during the other practicum sessions–I never knew what to do, I was lost in my own contemplations (“Why am I here? What am I supposed to do?”). I had no interest in finding out the jeopardizing chemicals in urine or the usage of Melde law. The examinations were the worst, of course. Since I never had the chance to examine the tools that were provided, I was the dumbest during exams. Thankfully, I was always paired with brilliant kids. After finishing those practicum sessions, I was left with a feeling of extreme exhaustion. I went home, completely dreading myself and my severe stupidity. I was engulfed with self-loathing and inferiority all the time. Occasionally, I attempted to go through the practicum cheerfully, convincing myself that I would certainly gain something when the practicum sessions ended. Nonetheless, the feeling of confusion came to me again and again like tsunami. (End)
Saturday, 27 September 2014 (XII-IA8/20)
EE Journal on Favorite Session during Class Trip
On the 17th until 19th of September, I went for a trip to GSV Malang with my classmates for approximately three days. During that memorable excursion, I had to go through-what it seemed like- a myriad of sessions. One of these sessions eventually became my absolute favorite. This journal will give you a detailed insight of my favorite session during the trip.
Meditation– yep, that is my favorite session. To be frank, I still find it a bit atypical now that I come to favor this session, since I’m genuinely not a morning person by any means. Nevertheless, when my roommates woke me up really early that cloudy morning, I realized that I didn’t procrastinate or even grumble. The session itself took place in front of a cave; we had to get there at exactly 6 AM. The cave from our place was a bit far, but I found myself enjoying the long walk. I realized that mornings were actually beautiful, not exasperating- the air was more fresh, the sun was still peeking a tad bit, and the scenery was breathtaking as ever.
After we reached the place, each of us had to sit on a square narrowed mattress. The young pastor asked us to close our eyes and think about every blessings God had given to us since we were infants. The meditation session made me realize how sometimes I was being annoyingly ungrateful, forgetting God’s abundant boons. Not only did it enlighten my perspective, but the meditation session also allowed me to acknowledge my friends’ dream jobs. After we finished contemplating God’s blessings, the pastor asked us to sit in a circle and share our plans for ten years ahead. Most of the boys chose to be successful businessmen drowning in affluence. The girls had their own plans too- doctors, financial analyst, musicians, pharmacist, and so on. Some girls even planned the exact numbers of their future children, which surprised me a bit. The fact that everyone was being supportive and sincere towards others’ dream jobs made my heart flutter. I listened carefully to my friends’ future goals and took a good look at their faces while they talked. My friends were beaming with genuine delight when they shared their dreams; it was like they had forgotten about their sleepiness and fatigue. After that session did I fully realize how there were vibrant hopes and goals lying ahead of us, waiting for us to aim them relentlessly. And I was also aware that every one of us would eventually drift apart- walking our very own life paths, deciding what would be best for us.
In the end, the meditation session really did inspire and enlighten me in various ways. Thus, it was my favorite among the other ones. I was very grateful to have joined the trip with my classmates (my family); it was one of the happiest moments in my 17 years of life! I truly, truly thank God for giving me friends like them. (End)
(picture source: from the internet)